and I could probably afford to express these rational explanations for my emotions better, like how they say you should say the, “I’m mad because…, or ’ I feel frustrated because…’…..yeah. My communication used to be a lot better too.
I need to learn to be more rational and less emotional. I need to wear a stamp on my forehead saying ‘is this really an issue or am I making it one’ or something. I used to drill into my head that I needed to think more rationally, and it helped me so much with my depression. I need to get back to that place, where instead of going with whatever emotion presents itself to me at every second, taking a deep breath and thinking of a solution in a more mature and beneficial way.
As I fall asleep the emptiness behind me rubs my back and coo’s me to sleep. There is nothing more soothing than cold air wrapping it’s arms around me and silence whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Sometimes it’s better to have no one, than to have someone only half way there.
Me buying something over 20 dollars:
my roommate is supposed to be picking up a second boy tabby kitten today so Alix will have someone to play with and won’t be such a pain…this will either be a great decision or one resulting in someone’s death…probably me….my death.
I love the way people look at each other when they are sexually attracted to the other person like they have that little glint in their eye that only happens when the other person walks in and they seem more aware, and the curve of their lip lifts slightly in that shy smile yet they can’t look away. People are so obvious, and it’s so great.
"Are you going to die?"
"hmm? What’d you say?"
-I said definitely.
"Well with that kind of attitude you will. Don’t do it it’s for suckers. Don’t do it."
- what are you gonna’ do?
-“just not do it”
okay on a scale of 1 to 10 how happy do I need to look?
I have nothing left to give. I have no more advice or sympathy or sorry’s. People have exhausted me. I have nothing left to give people. My cat, yes, God especially. But people…nah, not anymore.
I don’t need anyone.